Mar. 26 – Journal Entry

OWNERSHIP

Up until recently, every relationship I have been in has been about ownership. Being together means property. This means I get to tell you what to do and I have to listen or not, to what you tell me to do. We can fight if either doesn’t “listen”, etc. I have been that way but not to an extreme & have been shifting for the last few years, but have maintained some control over my significant other.

I have thought lots about old patterns of jealousy & upset and not speaking up & not being honest and now in this moment recognize that I was manipulative & could claim the victim if things didn’t work out. On this journey I have been introduced to a lot of ways of being that I didn’t even know existed. A lot of labels as well.

Is a relationship two individual people that come together to explore this life or part of this life together and what are the rules around that? With open relationships, polyamory, fluidity, sapiosexuals, and a million other LABELS the evolution of relationship sure looks differentthan what my parents and grandparents partook in. As of late, my idea of the only boundaries being open, honest & transparent communication seems to be what I am seeking. Being a serial monogamous, I am not sure how all the other things would fly with me, but I can imagine that with constant communication anything can either be worked through or explored without ownership or rules by rather with mutual respect and love.