This is from my journal the day after my first journey.

5 years ago ish, I had an urge. A crazy urged to head to the jungle to drink jungle juice and find and connect to a deeper part of my soul. Last night that dream came true. I have spent the last 5 years full of anticipation and trying to stave off expectation.

Last night I drank the bitter brew and meet the grandmother I have been fantasizing about for years and I was so happy to meet her. The journey was long and beautiful and mild and expelatory. I went to many surface areas of my mind and the answers were thrown at me immediately. Lose the princess and find the Queen. Let go of your falsities and love who and what you are just as you are. Own your greatness and stop searching for your purpose. You already hold it, you already know it, now do it.

And take that shit off your face. Stop the eyelashes, the nails, the makeup, get dirty, enjoy nature and remember who you are. Stop searching ~ for you, for your purpose, for the answers, for your life partner, for meaning in everything. ENJOY ~ the world around you, life, your adventure, your children and your work.

Nobody ever said it would be easy, they just said it would be worth it.